The gift that keeps on giving (Day 88)

The scan I had last week showed that none of the bones in my foot were broken. Therefore, I could stick to the plan to go to physical therapy and get a holistic evaluation that dealt with my multifidus muscle, my SI joint, my hip, and my foot.

I felt "seen" when we did the strength exam and the PT felt the pop in my right hip as he pressed on my knee. I felt discomfort when he touched the muscles on my right hip and declared the presence of my knots, but fortunately, that part of the exam was over and he knew what was going on.

Both my hip discomfort--that irritating feeling like my hip needs to go back into the socket, but it isn't dislocated--and my foot pain are due to the aftereffects of chemotherapy, and I also got the impression that the weakness of my low, low back was as well, if only as an indirect effect (hips are connected to backs, in case you didn't know). There is nothing to be done about my slipped disc, but fortunately it's very mild and can be mitigated with exercise. 

The PT said "core strength, core strength, core strength" twice--as long as it wasn't sit ups or crunches. I'm going to, if not pat myself on the back, indulge in a bit of gratitude that my instincts have kept me away from those exercises for several years because of other issues I have. He said the yoga and Pilates probably helped keep me with as much function as I have now (but probably because of the stretching). I have a list of stretches and strength exercises to perform for the next two weeks, and then we'll talk again. 

Let's agree this isn't the worst side effect in the world, and let's also agree that I would have gone through with chemotherapy even if I had been told this would be a side effect. But if I had been told this could be a side effect, I might have planned accordingly. Say, not pushing so hard to go on long walks, and making sure to do regular stretches, and maybe just knowing that I was going to need to consult a physical therapist. 

I'm bitter about this because, as usual, I blamed myself for the foot pain, which ended up indirectly leading to a costly event, but *it wasn't my fault*. Maybe that's what I really wish my oncologist had told me: there's going to be weird things that happen to the rest of your body as a result of the chemotherapy, so be gentle with yourself, physically and mentally.

Yeah, that would have been nice.

Deb in the City