Introvert or just hyper-aware? (Day 97)

I am wondering more and more to what extent even the deep-seated issues we classify as psychiatric, psychological, or even biological are really sociogical. 

I don't believe that the majority of people are fully extroverted or introverted. I think it's a spectrum, and sometimes we feel better around people--or by ourselves--than others. I'm not a psychologist and this is just my opinion, but it's something I observe in myself, and I don't think I'm unique.

I have been more trepidatious in groups recently; let's call it "since the pandemic", and it's made me more observant of those times I feel depleted when I'm around people. What I realized--and maybe this isn't so common--is that I'm very aware not only of the people but also of the social dynamics going on around me. God forbid there are three or more different groups I need to tune into, which means six or more people. I need "a minute" after an hour or so.

It really is exhausting, but it's not *anxiety*, at least not if I understand that word correctly. And, obviously, it's not something I'm as likely to experience with friends and family (at least, not most of my family). That sounds like an introvert, but it's not; there are many times when I crave interactions with people, and not just because it's good for me.

I suspect I am not alone, and I think it's worth asking why I--and others--would be so hypervigilant in social situations. Is it really that we're so sensitive, just wired that way, or might we have been exposed to "dangerous" stimuli that required us to be so "sensitive"? 

I don't know, but maybe next time I'm in a group I'll see how long I can go without trying to suss everyone out.

Deb in the City