Breathing room in time for an adventure

My sons left for South Korea (along with one of their older sisters) last Saturday and won't be coming back until Tuesday. You'd think I'd have taken the time to kick back, but of course not. I took the time to scrub the kitchen--that was a lot of moving stuff around--as well as clean their room. Oh my god. You don't even know. Imagine a dorm room that needs to be maintained every week but instead gets serviced every quarter. If you're lucky.

There was a lot of dust, some new sheets, pillows, and drapes, and my "suggested" donation pile. They are never buying clothes again unless they've gotten rid of something first (the same goes for their father and kitchen gadgets), and until they've proven that they can take care of their things. There's a lot that's squeezed into their bedroom, and I appreciate that it's tough to keep things orderly. But since 1) the computers and long desks were their demand and 2) they picked out and in some cases demanded their own clothing, yeah, they can manage laundry and vacuuming once a week.

In other news, I'm done with the lobbying I was in charge of this year for a climate volunteer organization I'm with. Hurray. We had two meetings, and one definitely went better than the other. Lesson learned--maybe. Some things were out of our control, and that of the national organization who led the effort. But the important thing is that it's done, and thank goodness, because I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I had to deal with an unpleasant exchange yesterday and it pretty much sucked the life out of me for a few hours.

I've done my job, at least for today. My husband, sadly, is out of the house, but I think it's time for me to have an adventure. Downtown Boston, here I come.

Deb in the City

The simple things

I don't have time (or, really, the inclination) to do Self-Care if it's a big to do that involves me going somewhere or going to any extra trouble that lasts more than five minutes. But I do enjoy the little things, like using a scrub once a week, or making sure I'm eating organic vegetables. (Maybe that's not self-care, since I consider it genuinely essential for my health. By the same token, I don't count physical therapy exercises or working out, though they do have similar effects.)

But I am definitely counting this vegan, homemade watermelon lassi that I made this morning for breakfast. (Are you in the middle of a heatwave as well? Of course you are.) I suspect I'm going to need more than this to get me through the next few hours, but right now I'm staring at this very pretty color while I take some sips, and I just want to focus on the here and now.

Deb in the City

Dreaming of May and June

If I'm honest, I get sick -- or at least feel sick -- a lot more often than I should. If I go a week without feeling some level of lousy, that's sort of amazing. While health is a multi-dimensional subject, I feel pretty good about correlating much of that to how much I get to sleep.

But it's more than that. Yesterday (or at least, the day before I wrote this), I woke up after eight hours of sleep and felt Pretty Good. Alright, awesome. Proceeded to do my day, which included a couple of errands. About four hours into it I felt awful. My limbs hurt, I was tired, and I just felt Lousy. 

This may or may not be related to the event I had later that evening and the stress around prepping for it. I'm not sure, I don't really care. The one thing that I do know is that I'm exhausted, burnt out, and I need a break.

I don't get a break, really, until late April. I've spent a long time looking forward to something -- "Everything will get better when...", but my body, mind, and literally my heart are telling me that I need to fully arrive at that day in late April and take the break I've been looking forward to in one way or another.

I think I need six weeks, and that brings us to early June. I want to find a balance between being having a schedule and feeling overwhelmed with to-dos. 

The thing I keep thinking about is walking, for a long time, in spaces I love. As we're coming out of extremely cold temperatures right now, that feels like a fantasy, but even in Boston that will be doable by May. I want walks every day, in beautiful spaces.

A little bit of heaven

It will be garden season by then, so one day of my weekend can be devoted to gardening, composting, rose bush pruning...ah. (If it sounds strange that I'm looking forward to kind of grueling physical labor, perhaps that gives you an idea of the other stresses I've been under.)

I will get to deliver my Self Care Learning Circle at that point, and it feels like I'll have a little more integrity doing so since I'll be taking care of myself. That's one night a week.

Could I go to a museum at that point? I would love to, although it's not nearly as much fun with a mask.

And then? Maybe nothing. Maybe I'll enjoy sitting at home and reading, or maybe I'll be able to sit outside and read. (Beaches are not worth even thinking about at that point here, pandemic or no.) 

I have no idea how I'll feel after that or what I'll want to do, but I know that I need this.