Tainted Love by Erin Cawood

Tainted Love is the debut novel by Erin Cawood.  It follows Faith McKenzie from 1978 to the late 2000s.  When we first meet Faith, she’s a 20 year old student nurse who is beginning a career just as she’s beginning a romance with Calvin, a psychiatrist ten years her senior.  Cawood does a good job explaining why events that we shrug about in the 2010s were much more serious in the late seventies.  By then end of the year, Faith and Calvin are married new parents.

We know from the beginning that Faith’s story is not a happy one, and we see the slow decay of her marriage as Calvin goes from charming and understanding new father to a controlling husband who is unpredictably abusive.  Faith is a perceptive woman whose internal alarms ring frequently as her husband’s violence escalates, but she’s all too willing to believe Calvin’s excuses and justifications.

By the middle of the story, the only dignity Faith has left is that which she derives from her children.  Her conviction that her husband, despite his abuse toward her, is a good father, is what keeps her in the marriage.  It is when she sees that he is also a failure as a parent that she finally has the strength to leave.

Faith’s journey to find herself as she evades her violent husband is the heart of the book.  Is she paranoid to worry for her life?  Is it possible to make friends while running from her past?  Will she ever be able to provide her children with the financial security their father did?  And is it possible for her to find true love after 25 years of abuse at the most intimate level?

Readers should be warned: this isn’t a happy story, and it doesn’t have a happy ending.  The cycle of abuse Faith suffers rings true: disbelief, injury, apologies, justifications and forgiveness until it repeats and all interactions are shadowed with fear and self-doubt.  Cawood did an excellent job showing how an intelligent, empathetic woman could find herself trapped in such a situation- and how she could finally leave.

This is the first book in Cawood’s upcoming series, Valentina Secrets.  I look forward to reading the next installation.

Full disclosure: I met the author last year and have been hosted on her blog.  I received an advance review copy of this novel.  Please note this did not influence my review.

More on Student Debt

My main character doesn't have a lot of money but does have a lot of ambition.  Like many young people, she's made the decision to pursue a college education to make sure she has a solid foundation as an adult.  The specter of debt and a life spent paying it off is one of the motivations behind what some might consider a really questionable choice.

With that in mind, here are some schools she would not attend.

My character is not white, and unfortunately non-white students are disproportionately affected by the high cost of college.  Note: my character is part Asian, not Latino or African American.  However, while that group is not the focus of this study cited, they note here:

The foreclosure crisis wiped out economic gains made by many minority families and set in motion the largest stripping of their wealth in American modern history. The average Latino family lost two-thirds of its wealth between 2005 and 2009, while Black and Asian families lost more than half of their wealth.

Not surprisingly, these families rely more on college loans, and increasingly on riskier private loans, to offset losses in home equity and dwindling savings.

In other words, the losses and threats may not be as deep, but they are still a concern for many Asian American families.

The story I've written is not about how to fix higher education in this country because, as far as I'm concerned, that would be a boring story: demand legislation providing funding for higher education institutions.  Also, not everything here is about the desperation a tuition bill can cause.  But it is about a person who, like many in her generation, is trying to dot every i and cross every t without ruining her future in the process.

Student debt grows

The high cost of college is the elephant in the room for my main character.  Her resolution comes after a lot of heartache, but it's a fairy tale compared to what real-life students and graduates go through.  Here's the latest about how much student debt is going up.

Not surprisingly, they note here that students in the Northeast were among those with the greatest debt- but so were students in the Midwest.  Students in the West and South have the lowest.

The implied advice hasn't changed: go to a less expensive state school.  However, those aren't the bargains they used to be as higher education has been cut almost across the board in all states.

The article notes that private student loans account for a fifth of student debt.  Consider my heart chilled.

There are things that can be done to prevent high debt: attend a state school, do some of your work at a less expensive community college, work over the summer (if you can find a job while unemployment is high).  But frankly, all of them seem like bandaids when state support is being reduced.

The best answer I've heard so far: invest in higher education institutions to lower the cost of attending college in the first place.

What I'm Reading, What I've Read and What I Want

I used to review a lot, but for a couple of reasons I've stepped away from it.  I still read a lot, but for the most part I'm not sharing my thoughts on everything, especially if they're on balance negative thoughts.  I consider it a little bit of a luxury to not have to be overly critical.  (If I said I'm a Virgo, would you understand?)

But I don't want the world to think I've stopped reading.  Even if I haven't had time to sit down for a proper review, I can at least give a shout out to what's on the table where I keep my books.

• Oxford Messed Up is the story of a Rhodes scholar who suffers from OCD and her path to wellness and love. A lot of Van Morrison music.
• Daughter of Time Young widow Meg thought the 21st century was filled with challenges.  Will 13th century Wales be any better?
• A Thirty Something Girl Hope Jackson's thirtieth birthday is anything but welcome after she's lost pretty much everything she ever thought she had.  Things you can get back and people can come into your life, but does any of that help when you can't let go of your mistakes?
• Molly Hacker is Too Picky!  Finding Mr. Right is hard; looking for that person when all of your friends plus the town's busy body thinks it's their job to "help".
• Resurrecting the Street is an account of how the Government Securities Markets came back after 9/11.  As much a story about what happened that day to the people as to the infrastructure.
• The Gargoyle After a man who had no inner life and made money off of his looks is burned in a fire, a mysterious, eccentric woman arrives at the hospital to help him recover.  It's a love story that will delves into history and mysticism.
• Self-Printed If you're contemplating self-publishing, this is an excellent guide.  This is not a get-rich-quick scheme; rather it's a make a develop-a-reliable-long-term-income-stream book.  There is quite a bit of technical advice about how to publish on Kindle and Smashwords, with all of the attendant problems that can arise.  If you end up deciding that you want to hire someone else to do this for you, you're not alone.

What I'm waiting for with bated breath

• Poseidon: Earth Shaker Why?  Because it's the latest installment in George O'Connor's series about the Olympians, and we all know I love George O'Connor.

What I Really, Really want more of

• Good economic history. Please, don't even breathe Niall Ferguson's name in my direction.  This is the kind of stuff of my dreams.
• A grown up book about solar power. There's a fair amount for kids, but I want something I can sink my teeth into- history, applications, goals- the whole shebang.
• An Asian country's economic outlook, and preferably one that reflects that Asia is not a monolith.
• More on education policy, including K-12 and higher education.  I'm picky though, and do NOT recommend Diane Ravitch unless you'd like to hear all of the reasons I can't stand her.

Don't Even Bother Recommending

• Anything by Emily Giffin.  Her bullying- ahem, her husband's bullying- this summer soured me on anything she may ever write.

Some of my thoughts on reviews

You may have heard about certain authors paying for reviews on Amazon.  I'm sorry- they paid for positive reviews on Amazon, because in the New Publishing World, authors live and die by their Amazon reviews.

I stopped reviewing on Amazon last year.  I discussed why here, but it comes down to the fact that even Amazon is gaming their own system.  I'll repeat what I said in that post: it has nothing to do with the people who have been reviewing on Amazon since before Amazon reviews were some kind of currency.  I haven't checked the Top Reviewer forums, but I know that in addition to a little head banging, there's got to be some serious laughter.  Because, well, algorithms aside, someone is paying someone for a review.  Lame.

Other people have talked about it from the author's point of view, and I'm not going to bother giving links to people who have argued in favor of it.  (But I am going to say, dude, if you really think getting a review copy of a book- to review- is compensation- for a review!- you need to go back to Logic 101.  And trust me, if I gave it a 1- or 2- star review, the book wasn't compensation.)  I want to talk about reviews from the Reviewer's point of view.

When I review I try to look at it from the reader's point of view.  What do I want when I read a review?  At the very least, a review that explained itself.  I don't want to see an extended summary of the plot, and I don't want to see someone gush, spew or otherwise explode with emotion.  You can tell me you cried, laughed or wanted to throw the book against the wall, but if you can't give me any details that help me understand why, I don't care.  Everyone is entitled to opinions and anyone is free to put them on a website or blog as a review, but if you can't explain why you felt that way, you're not adding much to the discussion.

That, in essence, is what I try to do.

In case you were wondering, no one ever paid me ever for a review I left on Amazon about anything.  (Okay, my kids really liked one of the toys I reviewed- but I left a four-star review for that because it was so difficult to use and required a lot of adult supervision.)  I was honest there and am honest here.  More importantly, I explained myself.  I can't prove anything, but I think that's why my reviews were well-received.

Someone is probably thinking that my criteria may be reasonable for a single review- or even reviewer- but what if you're seeing literally hundreds of short "I hated it" or "It's the best thing since canned beer"?  Maybe they're just two sentence reviews, but if hundreds of people agree, isn't that worth something?  To which I will say please see the links above.  I can only guess, but in my estimation, authors- and publishers?- are counting on that presumption when they pay for people to leave positive reviews... of something they've never read.

This whole review business is an imperfect thing.  That's exactly what you'd expect from a system that's dependent on opinion, and stars don't really change that.  Imperfect is one thing, but dishonest is another.  If I'm paying someone to not only to give an opinion but to express a specific one, that's not a review, that's a scam.  Fortunately, this is one of the easier scams to suss out.

Review for Hades: Lord of the Dead by George O'Connor

There are a couple of myths I can't stop thinking about, and one of them is the myth of Persephone, daughter of the harvest goddess Demeter and wife of Hades, lord of the realm of the dead.  She is everything from a symbol of the transition from childhood to adulthood to an explanation for why the seasons change (well, at least in temperate climates).  In more obscure (older?) stories, she also plays an important role in the story of Dionysus, which makes sense in light of the cycle of life/death/rebirth that both divinities embody... but that might be another story for another day.

Every version of the story that I have ever read features a young girl who is completely without agency.  For the most part, Demeter doesn't have any either.  She reacts in rage, but ultimately she must comply with the will of her brothers Zeus and Hades (and in some versions even Poseidon).  This myth embodies the tension between men and women in the ancient civilization and to some extent also our own.

If anyone else has ever been bothered by that, you're going to love George O'Connor's version.

Persephone is kidnapped by Hades, Demeter grieves and the earth turns barren, Helios tells her about the collusion between Zeus and Hades, Persephone comes back but only for half of the year.  Yada yada yada- every major plot point you remember is there.  It's what O'Connor fills around them that makes this delicious.

Ask yourself: how many young girls want to be so tightly held by their mothers?  What kind of a goddess is willing to destroy mankind in vengeance for the loss of her daughter?  And if someone were offered a throne, how many people would willingly say no?  Sunlight is warmer than the underworld, but sometimes warmth is stifling.

It's not all Hades and Persephone's love affair.  As O'Connor hinted a few months ago, we also get to see why Tantalus is related to the word "tantalize".  Importantly, O'Connor isn't just throwing that in here because we're talking about Hades and Tartarus.  In most versions of the myth, Demeter's behavior is, um, anti-social because she's distracted by her search for her daughter.  I loved the way O'Connor followed the strings of those two stories about starvation, human sacrifice and cannibalism.  In this version, Tantalus is an indirect contributor to the resolution of the story, and it makes sense.

At the risk of being presumptuous, I'm going to disagree with O'Connor's characterization of Hades as "emo".  For me, that conjures up images of a darkly dressed Hamlet moping through his palace, unsure of what to do next.  Hades is darkly dressed, and we could argue he mopes.  But Hades, too, has agency, and here it is as meaningful as Persephone's.  And what good is a myth if it doesn't provide us with meaning?

Highly recommended.

Review of Avatar: The Last Air Bender- The Promise Part 1

I am not a hardcore sci-fi or fantasy person.  What I've come into contact with in those genres are inescapable cultural phenomenons.  Some of it I like (Star Trek!) and some of it I could live perfectly happily without (Star Wars).

Add Avatar: TheLast Airbender to the list of things I do like.  If you're unfamiliar with the animated Nickelodeon series, it's the story of a world where people are born into states dominated by elements.  (Yes, the network that brought us Sponge Bob Square Pants and Fairly Odd Parents also gave us one of the finest anime-inspired series ever.)  Some can "bend" or control the elements and are called "benders".  The Avatar, the one person who can control all of the elements, is reincarnated after the death of the previous Avatar and into the next element in the cycle.  The states are the Fire Nation, the Earth Kingdom, the Water Tribes and the Air Nomads.  At least, they're used to be Air Nomads; after the Avatar was born into the Air element, the Fire Nation killed all Air Nomads in an attempt to establish world domination.  Fortunately, they just missed Aang, the twelve-year old Avatar, who had run away from home and wound up trapped in a glacier.  The story picks up 100 years later, when the world is dominated by the Fire Nation and Aang is miraculously rescued by Katarrah and Sokka, adolescent siblings from the Southern Water Tribe.

The three season series is as much about Aang accepting his responsibility as The Avatar and acquiring both the skills and the wisdom to defeat Fire Lord Ozai as it is about the slightly older Prince Zuko, Ozai's banished son.  His quest is for redemption, first from his father, then from his own conscience.  He is easily the most fascinating character in the well-drawn cast (pun intended).  His conflicts run deep and are symbolized by his power-mad father and his wise uncle Iroh.  We discover later in the series that his dual nature goes back even further: he is the great-grandson not only of Sozin, the Fire Lord who started the world war, but also Avatar Roku, the avatar who immediately preceded Aang.

The Promise, Part1 picks up after Aang has defeated Ozai by depriving him of his ability to bend.  (FYI, that's something most avatars can't do, but that's how bad ass Aang becomes.)  Aang, Zuko and Earth King Kuei take upon the task of removing the Fire Nation from their colonies in the Earth Kingdom as the first step toward healing the wounds of the long war.  Zuko, however, is tormented by his memories of his last encounter with his father who refused to tell him where his mother was and taunted that Zuko would need his help to be a good ruler.  Upon reflection, Zuko asks Aang to promise him that if Zuko becomes like his father, he will put an end to him.  Aang is horrified, but reluctantly agrees.

The story picks up one year later.  Although Zuko's guards believe he's paranoid, he's proven correct when a young Fire Nation colonist from the Earth Kingdom makes an attempt on his life.  He returns her to her father, who chastises him for not protecting his people in the colonies.  Zuko is enraged until he meets the man's wife- an Earth Bender.  He realizes that his would-be assassin is also an Earth Bender who is loyal to the Fire Nation like her father.  After a tour of the city, Zuko realizes that everything isn't as clear as it had seemed to him and Aang a year ago.

Aang and his friends are outraged when Zuko calls off the return of the colonists without any explanation.  When Aang and Katarrah confront Zuko in the colonial city, Aang comes close to keeping his "promise" to Zuko until Katarrah makes the same realization that Zuko did: it's not that simple.  Aang and Zuko grudgingly agree to meet with the Earth King to discuss a resolution to the problem of the colonies.

When the story leaves off, Zuko visits his father in prison to ask for guidance.  The last frame is of Ozai's smile.

I wouldn’t recommend this for someone who didn’t already know the basics of the animated series and hadn’t seen at least a few episodes.  The reader needs to understand the struggles both Aang and Zuko endured to defeat Ozai to appreciate the disappointment both feel on different levels when they realize that that the work doesn’t end once the fighting stops.  As we see when we read history- or current events- most people are shades of grey.  Frustrating at times, but it makes for a much more interesting story than black and white.

This is the first of three graphic novels set to bridge the 70 year gap between the end of The Last Air Bender series and the upcoming Legend of Korra, the story of the Avatar who follows Aang. From what we've seen of the previews, we know that Korra is a Water Bender from Sokka and Katarrah's tribe who is trained in all of the elements except Air.  The beginning of the story is about her journey to get training from one of the few Air Benders in existence.  In this case, Tenzin- a son of Aang and Katarrah. Interestingly- maddeningly- little so far has been released about the fate of the Fire Nation or Prince Zuko. In other words, if you want to find out, go buy volumes 2 and 3 of The Promise.

For $9.99 per copy, I should probably say no.  However, I'll not only get them, I'll probably get them the first day they're out.  If you're a fan of The Avatar: Last Air Bender series, I recommend you do the same.