My crutch is consistency. And Douglas Adams can screw.

This has turned into one of those mornings. On the way home from getting my sons some ice cream and coffee (as well as some actual groceries), someone ran a red light, which caused us to stop short and for me to spill coffee all over my sweater. Then I had an upsetting call with my mother, whose dementia is spiraling. It didn't end well, and I'm not the only person she contacted (or who's upset).

I wanted to cry, and my sister advised that might be the best course of action. The last thing I wanted to do were those grown up things that, you know, help me achieve my goals...but I did them anyway. I did my PT exercises and noticed that, hey, I'm getting much better at them. I forced myself to transcribe this new installment, and you know what, this new twist doesn't suck. And I really, really, did not want to call Nevada voters first thing in their morning, but after bracing myself to get hung up on ten times, three out of ten were pretty nice. 

None of this makes the issues with my mother go away, nor does it address my other anxieties, both personal and, well, larger. But it's not nothing, and sometimes that's a big win.

Right...I'm also keeping up with my reading (yes, thank you, I will take the medal, parade, and statue), but one book I happily ditched into the library was some edited compilation of Douglas Adams' writings. My husband really liked The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...and then came upon some bs Adams wrote about trying to be Jewish--in no small part because of the size of his nose--but, as the title says, he likes bacon.

God damn, I am so glad I never wasted my precious time on anything he ever wrote. Why someone like that repelled me, I can't tell you, but sometimes my instincts aren't wrong (see also: Roald Dahl and Doctor Seuss). Now if only I could get over The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock...

Deb in the City

There is no hiding (Day 75)

Part of my adventures yesterday included being on the Green Line of the MBTA for all of three stops. You'd think that would be the easy leg of the trip given the slog that was the 57 bus in the rain, but no. Because as I passed through the Longwood station on the D-Line, I saw that someone had helpfully written "ZIONIST SCUM" in red on the map. Sorry I couldn't take a picture; we were passing by really quickly. Actually, I'm not sorry, because the artist in question just wasn't that talented.

The Longwood station is on the border of Boston and Brookline. It's a five minute walk from the train station to the Longwood Medical Area. That's in Boston. Maybe the teaching hospitals did something recently to earn the ire of anti-Semites? Or do you think that was directed at someone else?

As of 2002, the Jewish population of Brookline was 30 percent. In case anyone is interested, that means less than a third. It's very hard to find statistics any later, but it would be remarkable if the percentage had increased to 50 percent. But it doesn't matter. Brookline has a well-established Jewish population. I'm just going to guess that message was directed to them.

I'm not going to try to distinguish Judaism from Zionism, in any of its incarnations. I'm not going to defend either; I don't have to, I don't need to. That graffiti was a hate message, and I don't need to justify to anyone, anywhere why it's inappropriate. (I'm confident in that because of the word "scum", but there are other qualifications.) And if you're reading this and you think I do, honestly, what is wrong with you?

That message worked--I felt threatened, and I bet a lot of Jews who read it felt the same way. My first reaction to being threatened is the same as anyone else's: I want to protect myself. I don't want to be hurt. I want to be safe.

Give me a second, though, and my reaction is different. There is no "safety" when you live in an environment where someone is going to presume "scum" because "Zionist" or "Jewish", and complaining about it--telling people you feel threatened--isn't going to get you much sympathy. So...then let's go.

If you have a problem with this, that is entirely on you

 

I'm Jewish. I AM JEWISH. I'm Jewish because I have a Jewish grandparent, and I'm Jewish because I affirmatively want to be. I married a Jewish man, and I raised Jewish children. I spent a lot of time in a reform temple, and I do Jewish things like observe Shabbat and celebrate Jewish holidays. I'm Jewish, and just because that's not the first thing you think when you see me, it doesn't mean it's not true, and I'm not going to hide behind anyone's presumptions.

And another thing: that Jewish grandparent may not have covered himself in glory as a husband or a father, but he managed to do something that I am very proud of: he was a World War II veteran who was injured as a gunner over England. He was fighting Nazis, because that's what Jews do.

I'm fighting Nazis, too. They may be scary, but you know what? I can be, too.

Deb in the City

Not sure if I feel better now (Day 60)

In light of the exchange I had yesterday, and a brief interaction with someone online, I decided to take a look at the Southern Poverty Law Center to see if I could grab some statistics. Well, I can, somewhere, but I got derailed while searching by, well, some loser who heads a not-at-all crazy neo-nazi organization (I don't want to name either of them because I don't want to show up in a search; also, these guys don't deserve proper case) advocating the sexual assault of women--white women--as "war brides" who can't be trusted to choose how to use their own reproductive systems.

I've lived through trauma, but my triggers are random and personal; I'm not someone who can't read about terrible things, and in some ways I think it's my responsibility. But the article above is deeply disturbing, so please be warned. And so is the whole site--because they are talking about deeply disturbing things.

I listen to Gaslit Nation, and I know people have accused them of being conspiracy theorists. The Southern Poverty Law Center is a widely respected organization, and believe me when I tell you that they come to the same conclusions. Or rather, don't believe me, go take a look for yourselves. If anything, Gaslit Nation sees more of a use for Twitter or whatever the hell it's called now; after reading just a little of this, I don't want to look at even references to tweets again, but Elon Musk is pure evil. Shame on the mainstream press, especially the business press, for legitimizing him. 

As hard as it is for me to read their analysis, I understand that the people who write for them have to monitor horrific people and spaces. I hope they rotate out of those jobs regularly, because that might rot their souls.

I'll be reading more of the Southern Poverty Law Center going forward. As I said, it's my duty. It won't make me feel better, but as a consolation, I won't feel as awkward when I have to clap back at people for off-handed bigotry.

Deb in the City