Yesterday I was out of sorts. My husband and I finally finished a book that was due back at the library. I enjoyed the story, but by the time we were done..."oh, look at the time." I didn't have any appointments that day, but I did have things to do, and even though it wasn't ten in the morning, I felt like the day had slipped away. I was also not feeling well, a combination of something I ate and cramps.
The logical thing to do--the productive thing to do--would have been to have squirreled away to the library or a cafe and squeezed out a little work. But I did something else--I went for a walk with my sons. Though, sadly, it didn't do much for my physical symptoms, I did feel better.
When they were younger, I was desperate for time to myself to get done all of those things I wanted to get done. Well, when they were younger, I did get them done, but I have wished more than once that I had spent more time with them less focused on what I wasn't doing and more interested in being with them. But that changed; at some point I went from feeling like a glorified babysitter and teacher to someone who counted her good fortune.
Several years ago--the Before Times--my husband had a school reunion to go to. There was some confusion about whether or not he should take me (he wasn't sure if his friends were bringing their wives, he wanted a last hurrah with his high school friends, whatever). By the time he came around to deciding that, no, I should come, I had already made alternate plans: the three youngest kids and I were going to see a movie.
That sounds like a consolation prize, right? I got to take the kids to dinner and a movie while my husband got to hang out with his old friends, some he hadn't seen in decades, in some place far from home, eating food provided by the venue...Wait, on what planet does a night out with kids sound like the lesser option?
I remember that night really well: the kids and I walked to one of their favorite local pizza places, got pizza (although I think I couldn't at that point), walked to the train station, went downtown, got movie snacks at the semi-swanky grocery store, then saw a movie I'd been looking forward to for a few months. I had a lot of fun with my kids, and at no point did I wish I were with someone else or by myself.
Not sure how well my husband remembers his reunion with his friends, but I know he regrets not being able to share that night with me and the kids.
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| Scenes from our neighborhood |
Yesterday was not as eventful: we returned a library book, went to the same pizza place (sadly, their best days may be behind them...), got a drink at a cafe, then got eggs and crackers on a bodega on the way home. It was just another afternoon, and I am lucky that I can still share them with my children. I felt better--I felt lucky. Productivity be damned.
Deb in the City
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