I had so much fun talking about how Hawaii Five-O needed to be redone that I couldn't resist my thoughts on what other shows I would change.
The X-Files
When the show started out, Fox Mulder was haunted by the
memory of his sister Samantha’s abduction. He grew up to become an FBI agent who saw
conspiracy theories and aliens everywhere- and he just might have been right.
He was reluctantly partnered with Dana Scully, equally brilliant but far more
skeptical. Scully could hold her own against Mulder, but this was his show.
And then it wasn’t, for a couple of reasons:
- Gillian Anderson, the actress who played Scully, became pregnant with her first child in the middle of the first season. To accommodate it, the writers made Scully disappear and then recover from her abduction in a hospital bed. Where was she? Kidnapped by aliens- Mulder was right!- and then her eggs were harvested for an ongoing cloning experiment. From that point on, The X-Files was as much Scully’s show as it was Mulder’s.
- Gillian Anderson was a better actor than David Duchovny, who played Fox Mulder. While Emmy awards tend to be even more controversial than others, the academy got it right when they gave one to Anderson for her role and not Duchovny. She had more range, dramatically and comedically, than he did. Ultimately, she was the better choice to build a show around, but the premise was his character.
- Some of the ways they chose to enhance his character were unfortunate. Mulder was the odd duck because he saw conspiracies, so then the writers made him weird, geeky and sometimes kind of lame. Putting someone in an odd situation is one of the quickest cheats to make them more interesting, but ultimately it doesn’t hide the original problem of a weak center.
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Therefore, my Do-Over recommendations are pretty simple: if
I were going to redo The X-Files, I’d decide what, specifically, the conspiracy
was first before I started leaving dead bodies and limbs in elevators, hallways,
car trunks and the former Soviet Union and started weird scientific experiments
on moving train cars. I’d also have cast a lead actor who wouldn’t be outshined
by the person who was supposed to be his sidekick.
Once Upon A Time
This show had such great potential: Snow White, Prince
Charming and all of their kingdom’s memories are wiped out by the Evil Queen and
they’re sent to a World Without Magic (that would be our world, for the
record), but not before Snow White gives birth to and Prince Charming
successfully hides their newborn daughter Emma. Her destiny is to find and
rescue them, and twenty-eight years later the son she gave up for adoption- who
just happens to have been adopted by the Evil Queen- shows up with a magical
book of fairy tales to make sure she does just that. Emma is extremely
skeptical, but her dormant maternal instincts kick in and she ultimately breaks
the curse. Is that all? Nope. Her parents get split up again- mom gets sent
back to the Enchanted Forest, and dad is still in our world- we meet Captain
Hook (he’s misunderstood- and hot) and we find out that the real reason the
curse was placed was so Rumpelstiltskin could get back to his son Baelfire/Bae-
who grew up to become Neal, the father of Emma’s son Henry!
The Rumpelstiltskin line of the story has remained pretty
strong. When Henry was kidnapped by a mysterious magical force last year, we
discovered that his abductor was Peter Pan- and that Peter Pan was really
Rumpelstiltskin’s father! Good old fashioned family drama with a touch of magic-
perfect.
Would that the same thing could be said for the fraught
story between Snow White and the Evil Queen, aka Regina. The Queen hates Snow
because as a child she inadvertently caused the death of her true love, Daniel;
no, actually, Regina’s mother Cora killed Daniel after she killed Snow’s
mother, Eva, and she did all of this to put Regina on the throne; no, actually,
the miller’s daughter Cora really hated Princess Eva because she humiliated her
in front of the court of her future husband Prince Henry; no, actually, Cora hated Eva
because Cora was all set to marry Leopold when Eva outed her as already being
pregnant with Zelena, whom she abandoned at birth and grew up to be the Wicked
Witch of Oz.
"Why do we hate each other again?" "Let's ask our moms." |
"I've sort of forgotten..." |
My suggestion: Make a storyline bible and stick to it. And when
you decide you want to integrate someone from another fairy tale or legend, be
a little more creative.
What are you dying to rewrite? Hit the comments! And then jump over to my good buddy Danielle-Claude Ngontang Mba's blog tomorrow to see what she'd like to change.
What are you dying to rewrite? Hit the comments! And then jump over to my good buddy Danielle-Claude Ngontang Mba's blog tomorrow to see what she'd like to change.